Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
