So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
dude. I can hear the air.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
