you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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