they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
