Tell her she can't have a vagina
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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