Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
my being single is dangerous.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize