I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize