I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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