I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
