if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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