this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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