btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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