ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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