I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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