I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?