We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Sex with a fat chick.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY