I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize