Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina