Screwed.edu
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
