Swine flu. Run for my life!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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