oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
What a dumb baby whore.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
