Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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