He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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