he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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