the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
