Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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