so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
