How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
