Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
