I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
