do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
