My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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