and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
