there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
