the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
