new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I know her cup size but not her name....
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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