never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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