who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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