Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
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We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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