so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
