dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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