u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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