The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
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just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
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We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize