can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
