She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
