eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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