You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
