im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you inspire me to be a worse person
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize