9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
