I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
