Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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