Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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