Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
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Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
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It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize