you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
