I love watching others lives come down to our level.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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