I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
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i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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