So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
