3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Congratulations! We have a period
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