If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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