I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
