how can u be prego again
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
