I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
