I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
