so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
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Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!