I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?